A letter to millennials: Stop making the rest of us look bad

Dear fellow millennials,

Stop making the rest of us look bad. There, I said it. I have debated whether or not to share my thoughts on this topic, but there’s a side to this story that needs to be told.

Society considers us the “me” generation. Self-serving and egotistical, millennials are known for looking out for their own interests and doing what’s best for them. Yes, we are innovative, flexible, advocates for change and open minded, but these traits are not making recent headlines and social media feeds. These are:

“Student blows $90K college fund on trips, shopping; blames parents”

“Millennial generation shocked to learn their generation isn’t as entrepreneurial as they thought”

“I want to just quit my job and not have any responsibility. I hate being an adult, it’s so difficult.”
*Parents still pay for all expenses and she works less than 30 hours a week.

We sound ridiculous. It’s like we can’t take responsibility and expect everything to be handed to us. It’s not our fault if we can’t manage money, are apathetic about current events, or haven’t voted in an election. Don’t mind us, we’re just over here “experiencing” life.

I went college, graduated and have a full time job. I make a car payment, pay rent and cringe when I receive a bill from a recent doctor’s office visit. I don’t consider this extraordinary or noteworthy. This is reality. Sometimes I love it, other times it’s hard and I wish I could be seven again. But it’s my life.  I feel like my story is consistent with thousands of other millennials. I am not implying we are all selfish, spoiled incompetents and the future of America is bleak.  

I do, however, think our reputation could use some work. Moving back in with the parents after college for an indefinite time, only working when it’s convenient, refusing to follow corporate / business guidelines because they are too “restrictive,” making extremely poor financial decisions and wanting parents or grandparents to bail us out, we are not helping the image.

I believe in doing what you love. I believe in being happy. I believe life is to be enjoyed. I believe in dreaming big and being true to yourself. However, these statements do not translate into life being care free and convenient 100% of the time. WORK is required. Ironically, it takes a lot of work to enjoy a job.  The decision to be happy is a daily one based on attitude and not circumstances or surroundings. Successful people do not stumble over their achievements.

Let’s stop playing the victim and do something about the situation. Let’s show corporate America that technology has made us more efficient, we can quickly find and digest information and how we’re not confined to certain set of rules to solve the problem. Let’s be entrepreneurs, start our own companies and come up with better ways to travel, work and protect the environment. Let’s be the people 95% of millennials already are. Unafraid of challenges, not deterred by stereotypes and the status quo and unwilling to give up until the dream is realized. Let’s not be remembered for selfishness, laziness and a lack of responsibility. Sound like a good plan? We think so too.

Sincerely,

The rest of the millennial generation

The Value of My Words

The other day I had a co-worker ask me to sort through some pallets that had recently come back from a trade show. I told him I would come down to the receiving area later that day and start working on it. I went down that afternoon and started moving things with the help of my boss and my team. Later I was talking to the co-worker who asked me to move the items and he said, "Thanks for actually doing that. In the past, it has just sat there for weeks or months."

His comment surprised me. "You didn't believe me when I said I would come down and take care of it," I thought to myself. At first I was kind of insulted. If I say I am going to do something I do it. Wait, do I really? And then I started to evaluate myself- all the times I say I am going to do something but miss the deadline or let something slip through the cracks. I have good intentions. But as the famous saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  I don't think meaning to do something is good enough. Upon further self evaluation, I realized my track record for doing what I say I am going to do is far from perfect.

I feel like your word used to be binding. That was the only thing required to complete a business transaction or ensure an appointment. Now I am not sure my word (or anyone else's for that matter) holds a lot of weight or meaning. That bothers me. So lately I have been paying attention to what I promise to people and trying to be better. Here's to throwing it back and adopting "old-fashioned" values. I could use more of them in my life.

It pays to be nice (literally)

Raise your hand if you've had a bad customer service experience... The kind that leaves you raging, on hold for more than 30 minutes, steam coming from your ears, wondering how people can be so dumb and losing hope in the human race kind of bad experience. Yeah, I have definitely been there.

I just wrapped up a trade show for work. Trade shows are full of services and therefore the prime place for above mentioned scenarios to take place. Early in the week, I ordered cleaning service for my booth (sounds ridiculous, but it's mandatory because of union rules). They came late, only cleaned half of the booth and left. I was upset. They didn't come when promised, I had to track someone down to complete the task and then they didn't even complete it. I went to the office to voice my complaint. When I was waiting in line I noticed several people in front of me who were also frustrated and taking it out on the respective people working the desk. I then decided to switch my strategy. Would if I was ridiculously nice instead? Would this help my cause? It couldn't hurt. When it was my turn I pleasantly explained my problem and asked if there was anything that could be done. She said she would have to talk to her manager and disappeared. She returned smiling and said, "We will remove the charge and give you the service for free." She then explained that the manager never did that, but because I was so nice to her they were going to help me out. I was floored. "It actually worked," I thought to myself. I walked away happy the issue had been resolved in such a positive way.

The next day I had an issue with the hotel my company was staying at, and I thought I would try the same strategy. Maybe lightning could strike twice in the same place. I waited in line and again saw the person in front of me yelling in frustration at the person helping him. After he was done, I stepped to the desk and again tried to be nice and genuine as I explained my problem. After some back and forth, he said he could help me. I thanked him and exchanged small talk with him. Then out of the blue he said, "You know, you have been so great to work with I am going to upgrade your room." I think I had to pick my jaw up off the ground. I definitely wasn't expecting that. This whole being nice to customer service reps was REALLY working for me.

I don't think being nice always yields these type of results, but I do know that most people are generally just trying to do their job and respond better to kindness than meanness. And I think it made their day and my day a little better when I didn't explode with frustration over the problem at hand. Here's to being extra nice and seeing where it takes me next time. This week it sure paid off (literally).

#thestruggleisreal

I don't know what it is, but lately I have been seeing way too many "GoFundMe" sites or blogs about hard things and terrible tragedies. Young moms with cancer, premature babies with extreme health issues, infertility, children with severe disabilities, children dying of cancer, parents dying and leaving behind young children, the list goes on and on. As strange as it sounds, I am fascinated by these stories. How people cope with their difficulties, and how so many people who don't even know them (myself included) follow their story and offer them support. To me, it's one of the benefits of social media: thousands or millions of people can come together over a single message, story, idea, or person in a very short amount of time.

The past couple of months, I have been thinking about different difficulties, that while usually unpublicized, are hard and very real challenges. While some people like to post every detail (both good and bad) on social media outlets, I feel like few people really enjoy broadcasting their deepest struggles for the world to see and criticize. It's much easier to post a picture of a great hike, delicious dessert, of good party, and let that be the image that people develop of you. While in the background, other things weigh heavy: Parents getting divorced or remarried, siblings ostercizing themselves from the family, difficulty finding a job, hating the job you have, struggling with depression or anxiety, not feeling accepted at church, battling self-image / eating disorders, the list goes on and is far too long.

Sometimes I look at my social media feed and think that I must be doing something wrong. Everyone else seems to be happy and have it all pulled together: why am I having a hard time? A couple months ago I talked to a couple friends over a few weeks and realized they were struggling too. "But they look so happy on instagram! They just went on a great trip, they have the cutest family, they are always so pulled together," I thought to myself as I once again realized that my social media perception of them blocked my ability to see their struggle.

I don't think the biggest problem with social media is that it creates an unrealistic image of a person's life, I think the larger issue is that it makes me less inclined to actually talk to my friends and really reach out to them. Because if it looks like things in their life are great, I assume they don't need really need me in real life. When in reality, just because they don't have a life threatening disease, does not mean they wouldn't appreciate some real encouragement that doesn't come in the form of a like or comment. There's an overused and cliche quote that sums it up perfectly:

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

(Even if their house is decorated perfectly, they go on great vacations, and they always seem happy :)

Here's to being there "in real life" for more of the people I care about in 2015.

The speech I didn't hear at graduation

When I was in college I had this great ideal of what life would be like post-graduation. I was sure that without all of the studying, stress and work life would be so much easier. Shortly after I graduated I learned that my vision and happy dream of what it meant to be a college grad was not being realized. And it was a lot harder than I realized. And I wondered, “Why don’t they tell you this when you graduate from college? Or better yet, when you’re in college?” So here are a few things I have learned in my short time out of school that have made a difference for me.

1.  Getting a job is not easy

I feel like I am not alone in this statement. I worked hard, had a good GPA, and more importantly, I had relevant work experience. Still, it requires more than just filling out online applications. It requires research, a ton of time and networking. You know how professors always talk about the importance of LInkedIn? Yeah, this is one instance where listening to them is extremely beneficial. Like all good things, finding a job takes hard work. I know, you always hear about those people who just “happened” into their dream job or had connections from daddy that land them a high-paying job. But more and more, these people are the exception and definitely not the rule. It takes effort and it takes work. 


2.  A lot of people are smarter than you

Like I said, I worked really hard in college. I am definitely not the smartest person, but I felt like I made up for it with persistence and hard work. I thought my resume was decent when I graduated. I had two bachelor’s degrees, graduated Magna Cum Laude and had worked nearly full-time in a job that gave me relevant experience. I had also done a few internships, and been involved in student clubs relevant to both my majors. I am NOT saying all of this because I am great, it’s really the opposite. Because despite my confidence on graduation day, I failed to realize there are a lot of incredible people out there. Their skill set is better than mine, they know more, they have more work experience. The point is, if you don’t get an interview, or don’t get offered the job you think you are “perfectly qualified” for, don’t sweat it too much. An unbelievable amount of talented people exist in the world. You probably weren’t the right fit, and you will find the place that’s best for you.

3.  Hard work will usually beat talent

Let’s face it. A lot of business professionals view our generation as narcissistic, lazy techies who spend most of their time attached to their phone and addicted to social media platforms. And sometimes, they might be right in this assessment. Prove them wrong. Don’t pay attention to the person next to you who gets paid triple your salary yet you’re not exactly sure what he / she does all day, or the person who comes in late and leaves early every day. Just because other people are doing it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Work hard, work smart and have the attitude that you can never know enough. Look forward, not sideways: Hard work always pays off.

I am lucky to have two great examples of this in both of my parents. My dad has been a small business owner for 25+ years. His philosophy is “We work until the job is done, and we do it right the first time.” My mom helped my dad with his business, and then went back to school while simultaneously raising five children and managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA. Growing up working for my dad, and the example of my mom helped me develop a decent work ethic that I will always be grateful for, and that has really helped me in the workplace.

4.  Things will always work out

If you had told me I would be working for a medical finance company when I started my senior year of college, I would have laughed. If you had told me that I would be working in the shooting sports industry three years later, I would have said you were insane. I really believe that no matter what happens, things work out for the best for those who work hard. I didn’t expect to start in the medical finance industry, but I wouldn’t trade my experience at my first company for anything. I had a great boss who taught me invaluable skills I use every day. It also provided a springboard to what I considered my dream job in college athletics, which opened the door to my current job.

5.  Be open to changing the definition of your "dream job"

I absolutely love sports. I always considered a job in college athletics a dream. When I had the opportunity to make this dream a reality, I couldn’t believe I was so lucky. I had a great experience working in college athletics, but I realized that it wasn’t the long-term career path that I wanted to take. Even today, I am not sure that my current position is my “dream job.” But I do know I am doing what I love and being challenged every day to be better. In college I often heard the phrase, “Find something you love doing and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” I’m sorry, but I disagree with this statement. I am doing what I love, but more often then not it’s work. My job challenges me. I fall short. I feel inadequate. I get tired. I work long hours. But I keep going. The feeling of accomplishment at the end of a long project, and looking at something and saying, “Hey I did that and it’s awesome,” is extremely gratifying.

So life might not get easier after college graduation, but what’s the fun in that? To steal the words from a popular movie, “It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great.”

Because of Him

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, commonly referred to as the Mormon church. Mormon.org has launched a social media campaign for Easter. No matter what your beliefs, I believe any Christian person can benefit from reflecting upon the life of Christ and how it has impacted us for the better. The campaign is titled "Because of Him." When I think about all that Christ has done for me, I am overwhelmed. Here are a few things that are possible through my faith and relationship with Jesus Christ:

Because of Him I know I can live again.

Because of Him I have a family that I can be with forever.

Because of Him I have someone who understands my suffering, pain, trials, joy and happiness perfectly. 

Because of Him I have purpose and direction in my life.

Because of Him no obstacle or hard thing in my life is impossible.

Because of Him I can overcome.

Because of Him I have peace.

These are just a few things that cause me gratitude when I think about the Savior. Every day I am grateful for my faith that gives me the strength, courage and direction I need when everything else around me seems to crumbling. Happy Sunday!

 #BecauseofHim 

Monday Perspective

Sometimes Mondays are rough. Getting out of bed for work takes every ounce of energy, work is always way too busy and things just seem a little off. Nothing seems to go right on Monday (or at least that's the way it sometimes feels). Today I left work feeling like my Monday was actually all right which I considered a great accomplishment.

Then I talked to my mom. Today she found out that two people in our community have cancer and another one of her students from last year (a 13 year old boy) has a brain tumor. Talk about a rough Monday. Suddenly everything that I thought was slightly difficult now seems unimportant .

So today I am glad that the hardest thing for me was getting out of bed to go to work and juggling a busy schedule. Bring on the mundane. Because that means that all of the important things in my life are okay... And that gives me something to be grateful for, even on a Monday.